2. Offsides:
No one knows your weak points more than you, you are living with them, you are very certain at each second that they are, that’s a fact. In this book, I’ll try to give you ideas and tools on overcoming those “offsides” as I call them, because when you come to think of them, they are nothing but offsides, but definitely, not weaknesses.
Even weakness is limited with its time and place, its not inborn, its proportional; think of it this way, this one time you felt weak in any aspect, was that one time you were weaker than someone. Feeling inferior, take your memory tape back, and fill in the rest of it: “you felt inferior in front of…..” it’s proportional.
We build a whole character, a whole life, and a whole destiny by the factor of comparison itself, WE DO COMPARE, consciously and sub-consciously. We compare our earnings to others’, we compare our fitness, our wit, our clothes and our lifestyle to others’, having pointed that, its easy now to identify the reason of being inferior… makes sense?
Coming to your weak points, one of the easiest ways of overcoming them, or working on improving them, is to list them, put a target where you want to reach in overcoming them, and doing so, the only thing this can do for you, and you’ll be grateful, is that it’ll higher your self esteem.
As they say, self esteem is also a comparison: a comparison between the ideal YOU and the actual one, and it rises and falls according to the equality comparison between those two every moment.
Now you’ve been having those weaknesses for the last years you lived, change is an option, that if you take, you’d just turn yourself into a better comparison, with the ideal YOU.
Great minds, great acts, great destinies came after a change of an idle, people who inspired change and made it, were the people who decided to overcome their weaknesses at some point.
In one of the trainings sessions I made, the request was to conduct a communication skills course for a group of young, dynamic and intellectual blind persons.
When I was researching the topic, not communication skills but the special needs of sight disabled persons, it came to my attention that from nearly 55,000 topics researched, I found none on how a blind person communicates, they were all about how to communicate with a blind person, in a way or another…
I was surprised from that result until the moment I started that training session; during the first 15 minutes of Ice Breaking, I realized that it made sense; you see Blind people have no communication problem whatsoever, they know how to do it, they know their tools, they use them and optimize on their productivity; its us, people with full and strong sight, who have it.
We see them differently, we give them the look that although they can’t see, they feel, the look of difference, the look of pity. Losing sight can definitely be not only a weakness to someone, but also a disaster that can crash any normal person’s self esteem, it can ruin a whole life, a general system of living; but to them, those young intellectuals they see it differently… they live with it, they deal with it, and they’re apparently doing much more better with it then we are dealing with their handicap.
Considered a weakness, again, even losing sight, is considered to be comparative; we see them differently because we have an automatic comparison for their sight to the normal ones, we make them feel this comparison in our communication with them, making them feeling inferior whether we know it or not, but for them, they do the comparison from the other side, and they see us different, cheers: they think “poor normal people cannot read our coded papers”, “they don’t differentiate sounds as we do” and eventually they become more adapted to their own handicap, and live thus normally with it while we don’t.
Many offsides accumulate in us through the years, by the factor comparison. In school, with friends, neighbors, family and environment. We get what we call offsides when we compare: so I get this belief that I am a bad football player because I compared myself to better football players at the time; I had a very bad sense of direction while my brother was a walking GPS!
You see we build our Egos most often by the life we lived, things we did, and stuff we owned, but rarely reach the inner Ego inside us by what we want to do, where we want to reach, and how significant we can be. As that Ego was being built with the years, so are the offsides, but guess what, change is really a piece of cake when it comes to offsides.
You just have to get out of your comfort zone, do things that you don’t do usually, that you do not feel comfortable doing, get outside the box and take some risks. The best way into overcoming fear is to face it, the best way to overcome an offside is also to develop its skill by practice, by taking it to the next level, by putting your determination on stakes, and by living with it. So go there now and do the things you think you couldn’t do, it’s a wonderful feeling, there’s nothing more fun than doing the things the you thought you couldn’t do, it takes a decision, a decision to change, a decision to crack the code of that offside, I know you’re going to fail, once, twice may be a dozen of times, but then, you would be going baby steps into improvement. Remember, they say Thomas Edison use to be afraid of the dark, he ended up inventing the light bulb, but guess what, it wasn’t a success before nine hundred and ninety nine times of what his surrounding called failure, he called it 999 way that he learned it won’t work!
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